


Every Beat of My Heart

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-07
Updated: 2007-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 09:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15116741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: Better just lay low again and hope a few hours alone would prevent her from picking up the fight later tonight.





	Every Beat of My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Leo opened his eyes and looked at the sleeping form of his wife. It was a cloudy day but the room was dark. CJ drew the curtains before they went to bed last night…she did not want the sun to wake her up too early. They had gone to the house in Maui for a long weekend away from it all. The last week of January saw him fully recovered from his heart ventricle surgery. 

Jed and Abbey came to New York for Christmas. The two couples enjoyed each other’s company though CJ hovered a bit. It was a happy holiday, and the whole family came to the McGarry home for a good time. On New Year’s Eve they went to a cocktail party at the Waldorf-Astoria. Leo enjoyed the party but his wife acted as if she did not want to stay until midnight.

He did not understand the point of going if they were not going to ring in the New Year. CJ begrudgingly agreed, demanding that they leave at 12:15. The next two days she hardly spoke to him. Leo did not know what was going on but he was sure that he did not want to fight. The kids were out of school for the holidays so laying low was probably the best course of action. Of course Leo knew from experience that laying low usually ended bad.

Sunday, after the New Year, CJ went out with her girlfriends. She had spent so much time caring for Leo and just wanted to get out. He was happy to see her go. Charlie went out with her friends too and after sprucing up the cluttered house, Tim was gone. Leo went into the kitchen and started pulling things out for dinner. Chicken breasts, spinach, ricotta cheese, brown rice, a few green and yellow peppers…he could definitely make something out of this. He sipped Diet Coke, turned on CJ’s IPod and enjoyed the music of Luther Vandross. She came in while he was making the rice and peppers in a wok.

“Hi.”

“Hello there.” Leo kissed her cheek, happy she would let him.

“What are you making?” she asked.

“Chicken, rice, a little stir fry. We’re probably alone tonight…the kids are off with friends.”

“Really?”

She also got a Diet Coke from the refrigerator. Looking over Leo’s shoulder, CJ thought the food looked delicious. She knew it smelled that way. Leo set the table and they had a quiet early dinner.

“I think we should go to the house in Maui for a long weekend.” He said.

“Why?”

“Why? Do we need a reason to want to spend a little time together Claudia Jean?”

“Well the kids are getting ready to go back to school. Anyway, I have to work and you are still recovering.”

“I am almost at my eight week mark and things were well at my last appointment. I feel fine and I want to spend some quality time with my wife.”

“Maybe in the spring.”

“OK, how about this? I will go to Maui alone and relax. You will be busy with work; I doubt you'll notice.”

“Are you trying to pick a fight with me Leo?”

“No. I just want to go away. I want to go away with you and spend a little time alone. I do not want you taking my temperature and blood pressure; I just want to be with you. I understand and appreciate your care and attention baby, you know I do.”

“It doesn’t sound that way to me Leo.”

“How can you say that?” he took a deep breath. “CJ…please. Let’s go away for a long weekend and leave all of this behind.”

“What are you trying so desperately to leave behind?” she asked.

“The fear, the worry, the hovering, the sadness, the anger…am I coming close?”

“I'm not hungry anymore.”

Her fork crashed against the plate as she threw it down and left the kitchen. Leo sighed, finishing his meal. There was no use in trying to talk her out of it. Better to just lay low again and hope a few hours alone would prevent her from picking up the fight again later tonight.

 

“What are you doing?”

CJ opened her eyes, contemplating her husband with a sleepy smile.

“I'm staring at you.”

“Why? I was sound asleep.”

“That is when I like you the best.”

“Oh ha ha. That’s so funny I forgot to laugh.”

CJ crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Leo moved closer, sliding his arms around her. Of course they had not been sexually intimate since his surgery…that was expected. So was CJ’s fear of contact as simple as a peck on the cheek. One of those things he dealt with, the other he hated.

“What were you dreaming about?” he asked. He smiled, pulling her even closer and softly kissing her lips.

“You.”

“Dare I call you a liar. Tell me.”

“I honestly don't remember. It’s not often that I do. I'm really glad that I took my head out of my ass and came away with you. We needed this.”

“You know what I need? I need to kiss you again.”

This time the kisses were passionate; CJ wrapped her arms around his neck. Leo moaned as she stroked the back of his hair.

“I love you Leo.”

“I love you more baby.”

“Impossible.” She put her hand over his heart and felt the thump under her fingers.

 

She was so angry with Leo that evening he suggested going to Maui. The worse part of it was she really didn’t know why. Time away would probably be good for the both of them…go some place where they could just be CJ and Leo. Still, a part of her could not help but think that all Leo was concerned about was his libido. He tried to be frisky lately, nothing over the top but obviously sexual. CJ immediately shut that down. She was not going to allow the dirty thoughts of his big, or little, head cause him to have any more heart complications. After about a half hour of seething, she called Nora.

“Hey, what's up?”

“I am very mad at Leo.”

“What? Sweetie, what could have happened in the ninety minutes since you got home.”

“He wants to go away for a romantic long weekend in Maui.”

“Um…what's the problem?”

“Nora, he just had heart surgery!”

“OK, maintain low tones. He had the ventricle surgery almost two months ago. Just because he wants to go away doesn’t mean his head is in his pants.”

“Oh yeah right.”

“Stop it, stop being you. That man loves you and I know how you get when he’s sick. He just wants to go away, be carefree, and romance his wife. Romance does not have to equal bare knuckle, sweaty sex.”

“I'm scared.” She replied.

“I know that. So how do you think you get un-scared? How did you do it the last time?”

“I just said a prayer and remembered how much I loved him. Sometimes when we had nothing, or I thought we had nothing, we had our intimacy. Our connection on the deepest level.”

“How you feel about him is never going to change.” Nora said. “Go away and have a good time. The both of you deserve it after what you have been through.”

CJ nodded, taking a deep breath. She was still mad and needed a little space from Leo to get her thoughts together.

“How about a little forgive me gift?”

Leo came into the bedroom with a small bowl of lime sherbet.

“No fair. I cannot resist sherbet.”

“That’s what I was hoping.” He said.

“Come in here Leopold.”

He joined her on the bed, handing her a plastic spoon. CJ smiled and dug right in.

“I do want to talk about Maui. Just not right now.”

“OK. When?”

“Later.”

“Claudia Jean…”

“Later, I promise you.”

 

Thunder rumbled in the distance and CJ could not help but laugh. They always had at least one rainy day whenever they came to the island. It was a sure thing; a sucker’s bet. She allowed her husband to slide down her nightgown and kiss her naked shoulders. He didn’t know how far this would go but Leo didn’t plan to push. Just feeling her warm, inviting skin was enough for this morning.

“You always feel so good.” He whispered, taking her earlobe between his lips.

CJ moaned, stroking his naked back. Her body started to tingle from the tips of her toes and she felt the rush between her thighs as he undressed her.

“Oh God.”

“What?” Leo grinned. “You feelin something baby?”

“Mmm Leo.”

She pulled him closer, drawing him into a soft kiss. His hand moved down her stomach and slid between her legs. His wife gasped, shuddering at the contact. That only made Leo grin more. Making her feel good was essential to him. He knew in their bed on that overcast morning that she felt very, very good. CJ’s back arched as his hand found that perfect spot. He loved the noises she made, gripping the sheets, and closing her eyes. Her lower body began to move with his hand…he knew exactly what he was doing. She grabbed his hip as the feelings overwhelmed her. Leo knew how close she was when her breathing shallowed.

“Cum for me baby. I feel you quiver and I know you're ready to let go.”

“Leo.” She opened her eyes and he saw the tears. “Leo, damn you.”

“That wasn’t very nice, especially considering how good you know this feels.”

Leo’s fingers thrust and CJ climaxed, crying out before sinking further into the bed. She could only watch with a satisfied smile as Leo licked his fingers.

“Feel my heart.” He took her hand and put it on his chest. “Perfect rhythm.”

It took a few moments but she finally found her voice.

“I'm sorry Leopold but you were not doing any of the hard work.”

“You think it’s easy to make you cum.”

Leo laughed, taking her into his arms and kissing her. CJ sighed as she cuddled close.

“I just get so scared.” She finally said.

“I know that. We’ve kinda been here before. I just want to be happy…when I'm with you I'm happy.”

“We’re more than just sex.”

“Hell yeah. And you already know that I know that. When you're scared, about my heart, you cut off hugs, kisses, laughter, touching…I feel alone. When you pull away from me, it hurts. Don’t think I don’t know why, because I do. I just…this time I wanted to stem the tide before we looked at a year gone by. I honestly don’t know how many years I have left but I'm not going to spend any of them without my favorite girl.”

“I love you Leo, and I never want to push you away. You're just not healed yet and you have to recognize that. The doctors say what they say but I am just looking out for you.”

“I know you are baby. You will not have a difficult patient on your hands, I promise. just don’t be a difficult caretaker.”

“Swear.”

“To what?”

“That you won't be a difficult patient.”

“You first, to being a difficult caretaker.”

“I swear.” She rolled her eyes.

“And so do I.” he laughed when she raised her eyebrow. “I seriously do. I want to be better too…I am better. I thought the Hawaiian sun might help but it looks as if a little storm might be coming.”

“All the better to spend some time together inside.”

Leo wondered what she had in mind. He knew that he would be quite satisfied to spend at least another hour in bed with her. She was naked and he really wanted to be.

“I thought I would make breakfast.” She said. “Then we could watch a movie, maybe cuddle on the couch and talk. Then nap and perhaps some more cuddling.”

“You have the whole day planned I see.”

“We will see where the wind blows. Why, what were you thinking?”

“Something dirty.”

CJ burst into laughter.

“God, some things will never change. Bet you would be surprised to know that I am comforted by your dirty mind.”

“You’ve always been fond of consistency.” He kissed her. “Let’s make breakfast together. Let’s do everything together.”

“That’s a deal. Now what?”

“Now I tell you that I love you, kiss you again, and get the hell out of this bed before I get myself in trouble.”

“I thought we were going to do everything together. Look at you, already deviating from the plan.”

Leo kissed her nose before climbing out of the bed. He had thrown the covers back; could only smile as CJ made no effort to cover herself. In her 50s, and she was still as beautiful as the day she walked into that Manchester storefront and into Leo McGarry’s life. Some days, he believed she was more so. Today was one of those days.

“What?” she rolled onto her stomach and hugged his pillow.

“You're beautiful.” 

“Oh please. Go ahead and do what you need to do alone. I will be here when you're done.”

“That is the best part.”

CJ blew him a kiss and smiled that sweet smile that made him fall in love with her all over again.

***


End file.
